The time is 4:46am. I’m supposed to be a few miles into my morning run. Instead, I’m rubbing my sleepy eyes as I stare into the glow of my computer screen. I sit here and write because I made a promise to myself that I would write down my thoughts each month. Not all my thoughts, not well at all, and certainly not in a timely manner. Here it is the 9th day of March and I’m writing about February. This means two things: First, I’m really good at procrastinating. If you ever need some tips and tricks of the trade let me know, I might go pro. Second, lateness in writing these posts is a sign of a good month. I want to be stuck living a good life instead of simply trying to write about one. But eventually, I’ll find a quiet moment with enough time to scribble down my thoughts. So pull up a chair, pour yourself a tall glass of tap water because Lord knows we’re dehydrated, and let’s reflect on February. (Yes I still sound out February when I spell it.)
Thing 1: Accidentally Growing Up
I write more now than I ever did in college. I was talking to a close friend on the phone recently and I told him this. I told him that I recently purchased a printer to print the things I was writing, which felt like another hole punch in my “Becoming an Adult Card.” I need to figure out how to reset my punch card because it’s starting to fill up and I’m not ready to grow up yet. I told him that I didn’t know how I drifted through college without ever actually buying a printer. My college roommate would probably tell you that I just bummed off of his for years. I would probably tell you that I was quite resourceful. Either way, I have a printer now, and it dings and hums as it turns out little essays on the fire service and miscellaneous documents that I need to sign. Those various documents always seem to be saturated with sophisticated words and lots of fine print. My wife Jenny says I need to actually read all of the documents which seems unfair because there are a lot. Then she reminds me that we’re trying to buy a house and I need to take this seriously. So I go back to page 34 and keep sounding out the big words.
Buying a house is crazy. I’ll write more on this topic at the end of March if it all goes through. But for right now I’m simply enjoying the process. If you’ve purchased a home, chances are I’ve already pestered you with questions, if you have not purchased a home, please don’t ask me questions, I’m flying by the seat of my pants here. Our home buying experience is a little different than most, it includes but is not limited to the following experiences.
- Viewing a home where the ceiling was caving in.
- Viewing a home that was completely gutted and required months of repairs. Getting attached to it because it looked cool, then realizing most nights we lack enough time to make dinner, much less renovate a house.
- Pretending to know stuff.
- Becoming great friends with our realtor because she locked her keys in her car and needed an hour-long ride back to her house.
- Actually learning some stuff about real estate.
- Viewing a cute house that’s actually structurally sound.
- Receiving the tough news that it takes more than $9 to buy a house.
- Uploading documents for my mortgage lender on 5-minute bathroom breaks at work.
These little adventures and many more are making life a little crazy right now. But crazy is good! The end of March my bring a little closure if you know what I mean!
Thing 2: The Pelvic Floor and More
To say that I am proud of my wife would be an understatement. You know those people who have an annoyingly persistent work ethic. They just keep working on an idea, project, or skill until they understand it. Well, I’m married to one of those people. Jenny provides an example of consistency that would rival a grandfather clock. Obviously, this is a good thing, but if I only wrote good things a certain honesty would be omitted from these pages. The writings found here are my sounding board for the thoughts and feelings throughout the month. Often the topic of “work” tends to be lumped together into a large chunk of time on a calendar, bookended by the precious few days we felt like we were actually living. Jenny and I talk about work/life balance often, yet, as two new graduates in fast-paced careers, it feels as if we must endure before we can enjoy. And maybe that is true. I’m a firm believer in putting your time in. However, how sustainable is this?
Jenny is a physical therapist assistant for an amazing new company in Charlottesville, VA specializing in women’s pelvic health and physical therapy. She legitimately changes lives for the better on a daily basis. To be such a pro she needs to plan, prepare, and practice, which takes a very long time. When I do see her she’s typically nosing into her computer planning. When she’s not typing she scheming up her next great idea. This past Valentine's day was spent doing just that. Somehow she convinced me to spend the evening being “supportive of her career” or whatever and help her practice on this thing called a biofeedback device. It sounded like some super scientific computing device that may give me superpowers so I agreed. It turns out a biofeedback device at a pelvic PT clinic is not what I thought it was. As she began to explain what she was going to do I got up to escape but she had blocked my exit. She told me she had to place electrodes in certain specific spots around my pelvis and measure my level of contractions. When I contracted it would move an animated butterfly on a monitor screen. “It’s a game!” She told me laughing. Pelvic contraction = butterfly moves. Naturally, my competitiveness took over when I heard it was a game and I was the bestest floating butterfly I could be. I was being utilized for science on Valentine's day. We shared belly laughs as I wriggled around on the exam table. Later we shared Indian food and more smiles.
There are two ways to view life right now in the Shetler household. One view is to state that we are too busy with work to chew our dinner. Often this perspective is correct. The second view is to note the busyness and savor the few moments where memories are made together. They may be rare, they may be few and far between, but they exist. Savor them. I write to remind myself of this truth and to look back years later and remember the little moments.
Thing 3: The Last 5 Miles Home
I love country roads. I love crossing over the lines. I love the give and take the curves and shoulders provide as you speed through the woods. Jen and I drive the back way to my parent's house every Friday evening to bring in the Sabbath and share a meal together. I’ve found that as I navigate the single-lane road Jen and I tend to navigate through conversation on the happenings of the closing week. Typically we’re an hour late and naturally, this adds a fun edge to the conversation. Together we’ve found that the last 5 miles of the drive are reserved for a particularly tense time. We finally work up the courage to say the things we each had been mulling over throughout the drive. For some reason, it’s always the last 5 miles home. You can’t rush it, and you can’t ignore it. You can only talk to your person and figure it out. The stresses and issues of each other are laid out over the headlights of a Silverado. Whatever the topic, how big or small, gets addressed on those final miles home, or parked in the driveway for 20 minutes as your mom looks out the window. We try our best to leave whatever trouble at the doorway, a little thing my dad taught me to do. I’m grateful for the miles traveled, conversations had, and the person with who I share it all. Especially the last 5 miles.
Find someone to live life with as generous as a winding country road.
Final Thoughts:
I think you’re a wonderful person.
“You’ll Never Walk Alone” by Marcus Mumford is the song that seems to find its way through my speakers more often lately.
Until next time,
C.S
